‘It’s my party and I’ll comfort eat if I want to…’
Being dumped totally sucks. It really hurts, doesn’t it? It’s a kick in the teeth, a thump in the chest, a painful blow to our confidence and we can’t help but take it personally. I mean look at us goddamnit, how could anyone not want this?
The thing about online dating is…you’re going to get rejected. It’s far easier to blow someone out online than face to face isn’t it? Even the most beautiful and successful get dumped at some point. Yeah, they do. As with life, you need to get a little tough about stuff when online dating – take the knocks, keep going and never, never never surrender! (flicks V for victory sign)
Here are a few quick tips:
1. It’s not me, it’s them: This sounds like the ‘bad loser’ banter of the recently ego-bruised but there is some truth in this line. As fab as you are, you are not and won’t always be everybody’s cuppa tea. People have natural preferences when it comes to looks, habits and manners just as you do. Put another way, go to any supermarket and check out people’s shopping trollies. Are any two ever filled with the same goods? See what we did there…
2. They didn’t respond to your messages: Before you even think it the harsh truth is that yes they did get it and they chose to ignore it. Yes, it is rude but people sadly are in this time-starved world. Don’t give it a second thought, do not message again, move quickly on. You’ve got a courteous dream partner to find…
3. They replied but refused a date: OK, but they at least they were honest. They checked out your profile and decided for whatever reason, you weren’t for them. It’s impossible to believe but it’s true. Don’t be tempted to ask them to list the reasons they’re not interested in an Excel document, however helpful this might be. Thank them for replying if you must and again, don’t dwell on it.
4. You met for a date and heard no more. Ouch. It’s harsh and a bit rude, frankly. You’re feeling they were initially interested enough to meet up but now you’re wracking your brains trying to think of what you may have done wrong on the actual date. In truth? Nothing, you were hopefully just your charming self, but they decided you weren’t for them after all. And who wants a person who doesn’t want you? Sometimes people don’t even know what they want but when someone does want you, they will go out of their way to have you. Period. Save face and pride. Forget about it, get back in the dating saddle quickly and reward yourself with another date ASAP.
5. You’re dating and then they dump you: This is probably the mother of all painful rejections. You’ve got close, shared thoughts, feelings and may have been intimate already. When you’re dumped after several dates, you can’t help but see it as a huge rejection of all of you. The good news is, you are human. Does rejection make us stronger? Yes it can do. We’re complex things us humans, we think we know what we want and we don’t. We change our minds. We hurt people we love but it’s the only way we can grow and learn in both life and love.
So folks, everyone gets dumped but the person who gets up and wipes that poo splattering of rejection from their shoulder is the one that eventually finds happiness. And heaven knows they’ve earned it. Good luck!
Have you been dumped? How did you handle it? Tell us @lovestruck
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