Slightly see-through tennis whites, grunts, groans, ball ‘challenges,’ strawberries and cream and celeb faces in the crowd. Yup, Wimbledon is back in town. But whether you’re pining Nadal’s pant-pulling peculiarities, are mad for Murray’s steely Scottish grit, are still feeling it for Federer’s unflappable talent or you’re jolly pleased Johanna Konta’s determination for doing it for British female tennis, we reckon there’s a tennis personality out there just for you…
Here’s how to get a centre court seat and net yourself one…
The Dinker: ( also known as a “Human Backboard”) would never hit hard, but will always gets everything back. Do not be fooled by the name – a “dink” shot might sound too dinky to be threatening but they are determined with an unerring consistence and persistence and they’d date the same way too.
How to net a ‘Dinker’ strategy: You are dealing with a calm and careful character who likes to plan ahead. They might not appreciate you buying a spontaneous ticket to the Maldives an hour before departure, but be sure they will be building a nursery before you are even married. So be patient, never rush things and maybe take up knitting. Starting off as friends could be a winning strategy here.
The Moon-Baller: The name speaks for itself. They hit high and deep and will then wait until the opponent makes a mistake. It’s difficult to constantly return a ball that’s literally about to land on top of your head, ain’t it? Sneaky.
How to net a ‘Moon-Baller’ strategy: ‘Moon-ballers’ are so used to looking up at the sky that they might be totally be unaware of what’s going on right under their nose. Wait up, get close and when they aren’t looking, sneak in to their life and pop your toothbrush in the glass next to theirs. When they finally look in your right direction, you will already be there, wrapped securely around them like a tight wrist band.
The Power Baseliner: Probably the most common type of tennis players nowadays. What is so special about these players? Er, they are happy to stick to the baseline and just smash it your way. They’ve yet to meet the tennis net. The net frightens them. It means fast thinking on their feet.
How to net ‘The Power Baseliner’: The main task here is to pull them away from their comfort zone. This player is most likely to have the same circle of friends since Kindergarten and enjoys frequent and safe family dinners. They might not let you into their world straight away so the best strategy is to try and find a common friend who would introduce you both so you can lure them from the baseline into your net…
The Serve-and-Volleyer: Most people crush on this type of player. A good serve-and-volleyer is fast, accurate, tricky but easily adjusting on court and so in life, though it’s difficult to foresee what their next move will be…
How to net ‘The Serve-and-Volleyer’: With this unpredictable character, always be on guard and concentrate on how the match is progressing. Date planner? Forget it. They’ll change their mind unexpectedly, cancel, be late, turn up unannounced. They are adventurous and risky so make sure you’re happy to follow and become a part of their unpredictable life. If you are a bubbly person, spontaneous and not afraid of danger, lucky you, you might be a game set match made in heaven. Love all.
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