Being idolised. We’d all love that wouldn’t we? Being admired by work colleagues, yeah, friends, yeah..and even better, a partner, right? Hmm, let’s look at that one.
A new study has shown that admiring your other half is a good thing – but only up to a certain point. It appears that when someone feels idolised, his or her happiness within the romance suffers. 
Published in the Journal of Social and Personal relationships, the research conducted three studies, looking at whether “I love you” is different to, “I idolise you”. And the answer is a big, fat yes!
The first one looked at 91 dating couples, aged between 17 and 36. Some were told their other halves thought more of them than they did of themselves – over-idolising. These participants ended up sitting further away on the sofa from their partners than the control group, suggesting the news made them anxious.
In the second study research looked at 89 married couples in their late 30s and how they viewed themselves and how their partners perceived them. When husbands felt their wives idolised them they said they were less happy with the relationship.
The third piece of research replicated the second one but was conducted on 153 college students who were in relationships. They discovered that the relationship satisfaction increased with perceived idolisation up to a certain point. The relationship happiness dropped significantly when a partner view of someone was greater than the view if themselves.
The moral of the tale: It appears that there is an optimal level of adoration and it’s when a partner views you slightly more positively then you view yourself. But why is it bad to be idolised? Scientists suggest that it makes partners feel like their other half doesn’t know them, that they have to meet an impossible expectation.
But is being idolised just a big fat turn-off? Does it make you think less of your partner if they adore you seemingly more than themselves? Would you respect them less?
It seems there is a fine balance when it comes to boosting your partner’s ego. They need to treat you well and make you just as happy as you make them.
What do you make of this study? How would being idolised by your partner make you feel?
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