Hello Lovestruckers! 28 November is fast approaching and with it comes the American holiday of Thanksgiving. This will only prove to be an issue for those of you dating an 
American. The rest of you won’t have to navigate your way around a turkey for another 32 days. That’s something to be thankful about.
WHY WOULD IT BE DIFFICULT TO DATE AN AMERICAN AT THANKSGIVING?
In theory there’s nothing difficult about being cooked a nice dinner on an otherwise cold Thursday evening. When was the last time you ate a meal which involved more than two elements (let alone two colours) on a weekday? But Thanksgiving is more than just a meal: it’s about family, tradition and, most importantly, the giving of thanks! The first Thanksgiving (or what most Americans think of as the first) dates all the way back to a group of Pilgrims in 1621. So if you don’t think you’re up to shouldering this kind of holiday expectation then start feigning flu-like symptoms now.
SO WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO?
Apart from potentially ruining a holiday that only comes round once a year? Mainly, cinnamon: America’s favourite spice. But they’ll also be turkey, stuffing, cornbread, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and lots of thanks-giving. So however much your unshakably sarcastic outlook on life tries to rear its un-American head, remember: genuine thanks only. That means no thanking your date for the charred turkey skin or the half-embedded hair in your cornbread. Stick to good health, family and friends. And whatever you do, don’t start eating until you’ve said thanks for what you are about to stuff your face with.
SURELY THERE ARE SOME PLUS POINTS?
Being chosen as your American beau’s surrogate family is an honour as well as a bit of a headache. Furthermore, the reason they’re spending Thanksgiving with you and not with their mom and co is precisely because they’re a good 3,000 miles from any immediate family. If that’s not a big enough silver lining, think of the pie. Pumpkin, pecan, sweet potato and apple are all traditional but don’t worry too much about which one you end up eating; they’ll all taste like cinnamon anyway.
MAXIMUM BLUFFING VALUE
Don’t sound surprised if your date starts gabbling on about turkeys being granted a reprieve; they haven’t gone mad. In 1963 President Kennedy jokingly ‘pardoned’ a turkey presented to him at the National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation. But it wasn’t until 1989, when George Bush Snr. officially pardoned a bird, that it became a proper tradition. While pardoning his first turkey in 2009, Barack Obama said: ‘You know, there are certain days that remind me of why I ran for this office. And then there are moments like this where I pardon a turkey and send it to Disneyland.’ But remember that it’s only okay for an American to mock the idiosyncratic traditions of Thanksgiving.
DON’T ASK ‘Sorry, I forgot to mention that I’m a vegetarian. Do you have Tofurkey?’
DO ASK ‘Do you want to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV?’
