Does distance make the heart grow fonder?

Long distance relationships are doomed, so the theory goes. Relying on the odd snatched weekend away (new lingerie in the suitcase etc.), phone sex and the odd Skype call can hardly make for a happy and fulfilling romance. Sooner or later things will inevitably fizzle out. Or at least we thought that was the case! But this theory has been turned on its head by a new study. worldheart

The research recently published by the Journal of Communication argues that couples that live apart communicate better and share more meaningful conversations about their thoughts and feelings than those that see each other every day.

The researchers – Crystal Jiang of City University of Hong Kong and Jeffrey T. Hancock of Cornell University – asked 63 heterosexual couples, roughly half of whom said they were in long distance relationships, to keep a diary of interactions with their partners for one week.

The couples were young, mostly students around age 21 and had been in relationships for two years and living apart for 17 months. The researchers found that while far-flung couples interacted fewer times per day, these chats were longer and more meaningful. They engaged in conversations about likes and dislikes and day-to-day activities, leading to more security and commitment, even though 30 per cent of them were only able to see each other in person one to three times each month.

The couples that saw one another every day didn’t make such an effort and while they recorded more conversations, they didn’t make such an effort or idolize their partner’s response.

‘While the public and the science community hold a pessimistic view towards long distance (LD), this research provides compelling support for the opposite side – long distance is not necessarily inferior to geographically close dating,’ says Jiang, an assistant professor of communication.

The study found that technology – and its increase was a key factor in the increase in couples not living together – but said to avoid email as it was the “least romantic form of communication”.

So, when your partner tells you they have been offered a job a few hundred miles away, don’t stress! Get ready for some long conversations and meaningful chatter.

Do you agree? Have you been in a long-term relationship? Did it work? Tell us @lovestruck

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