Ahh, the art of persuasion. A skill that comes in very useful when it comes to dating – from convincing someone to date you, to charming someone on a first date. After all, how many times have you almost dismissed someone as not being dating material only to look back weeks later realising that it was a big mistake? Here is our guide to the art of persuasion…
Make it about them: The key to persuading someone is making it about them and not you. Use the words, ‘you’ and ‘your’ and their name rather than focusing on you.
Ask questions: This is important when trying to make a good first impression. Do you research – read their profile carefully to gain more of a clear understanding about them before you connect online or message them. Then ask them a question related to what they have said, or even better still, something they have said that you have in common.
Match your body language to theirs: When you meet someone in person or are trying to persuade a partner to do something, mirror their body language, so if they cross their right leg, then you cross your right leg too, if they pick up their glass, you do the same. Be careful not to be too obvious with this – they’ll think you’re taking the mick..
Notice what’s important to them: When chatting to someone for the first time, listen for words or conversation topics that keep coming up. This shows what’s important to them, so they will feel like you’re really listening if you repeat the same words or focus on the same topics when it’s your turn to talk. This will build your relationship at a subconscious level.
Be trustworthy: A fast way to being seen as trustworthy is to admit weakness. Don’t do this in your profile but drop into the conversation early on in a meeting somewhere you have failed or hope to improve. You are human after all. However, also show them where you shine.
Change the volume and speed of your voice to suit your date: If they have a very quiet voice and yours is normally booming, take it down a few notches. Similarly if they speak very slowly and you speak quickly, try to match the speed they talk because this will help you build a rapport.
Are you charm personified? Is persuasion easy to master? Can we persuade you to tell us your thoughts @lovestruck
Tweet
