Christmas is the time of the year when nobody really wants to be single or alone. Even career driven singles by choice will seriously consider swiping through their contacts wondering who they can invite over for those left over mince pies as the endless holiday rolls on. And ‘Forklift’ Dave isn’t that unattractive, is he?
And so at Christmas, many thousands of singles will be thinking about making contact with the ‘ghost of ex-mas past’ for ’tis the season that reminds you of those other Christmas’ you spent together. From experience, we know you might have re-checked them out on FB, are considering sending them a text, calling or are planning an “accidentally on purpose” encounter at a party or carol concert. You may even be considering standing eerily at the end of their four poster bed one cold night offering to take them back in time to show to how things used to be when you were together….Stop! Don’t be a muppet!
1. Baby think twice
Christmas, just like the strong temptation to get in touch with your ex, will last only for a few days. But the impact of that few minutes conversation will last a lot longer. You will keep thinking about what you said, what you should have actually said, what they said, did you detect regret in their voice and whether everything is really over between you two. Not to mention spending the merriest holiday of the year thinking about someone you decided to leave or worse, someone who ghosted/dumped you. Focus on people who actually care for you and will be happy to spend this time of the year with you. Pop Wham’s lyrics on repeat too, “This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special…”.
2. People don’t change
We all believe in hope and miracles at Christmas But there are some things that even Santa won’t be able to change – like turning your ex into the perfect partner who will suddenly be all the things they weren’t able to be before. Such great expectations will most likely lead to disappointment. Stop thinking like your ex is the only source of joy – you are perfectly fine on your own, and Christmas is the perfect time to see yourself happy again and carve out a new path. You deserve that.
3. Will your relationships be different if you suddenly get back together?
Maybe at first as you enjoy the relaxed Christmas festivities but after a while the same old problems will probably creep back in. You split for a reason. If you were their Mr or Mrs perfect, they’d have never let you go and you would not be contacting them first. Never forget it. Christmas and the sweet gooey chocolate coated flow of romantic movies can also make us view previous relationships as better than they were. Be grateful for the experience you gained from them instead of making awkward memories and get disappointed all over again in the new year. Was that one of your resolutions?
4. What’s the harm in hanging out?
Maybe you do not even have any feelings for your ex anymore but you hung out once, what harm would it do to do meet up or spend the night together even? Becoming nostalgic about your relationships is totally normal, that’s the first sign you are ready to move on – not to step back. Sure it’s nice you can meet up as friends but often, one of you will have stronger feelings than the other so be prepared for mixed messages and feelings and if you sleep together…that can open a whole can of worms.
Remember – you broke up for a reason and keep those reasons firmly in mind. If your ex didn’t get what a catch you were, someone else deserves the chance. Fill your diary so you don’t have empty days of boredom stretching before you. Make an effort to meet new people, feast on great food and making new great memories instead of being stuck on the same old sad ones with the ghost of ex-mas past…
Learnt how to get over ex on Christmas? Share how @Lovestruck
Image: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)