Here at Lovestruck towers, we like to keep things positive and upbeat because finding love should be fun. But we’re also realistic. Sometimes there just isn’t chemistry between you and that’s OK, it happens, but some of you may have also experienced a species commonly known as the bad-mannered dater. They are easily spotted – they’re the ones that make you feel like rubbish after a date, leave you confused and asking what on earth you did wrong?
‘Nothing’ is the answer to your question. We identify the worst offenders, how to spot them and reveal why they act bad:
#The ‘ghosting’ dater:
You went on a date where you seemingly had a good time and then they completely ‘ghost’ you. Disappear. Don’t reply to your messages and act like the date never happened. It takes a few seconds to at least text you had a good time but they weren’t for you. Too much for them? This lot fall into two categories. Complete coward or a complete (word that rhymes with banker) and neither deserve another second of your precious time.
#The ‘comes on strong then back off’ dater:
This shows the classic symptoms of a control freak. They need to set the pace from the beginning to the end and this is the case with all aspects of their life. Something in their past taught them that being passive or letting someone else lead often means they get left behind or hurt. This results in them feeling they always have to get in there first to avoid losing face. If it means dumping you when they actually still like you, they will still do it. “That’s a super philosophy. That way they can go through their entire life without ever really having to know anybody.” (Good Will Hunting)
#The ‘Joker’ dater
This is where a a paid dating site as opposed to a free one can separate the serious dater from the joker. These guys don’t take love or life seriously. They play at both because they think they’re cool but are probably too scared to commit or too immature to be looking for a meaningful relationship. They need a few more years of Uni under their belt.
#The ‘me against the world’ dater
They’re a bit like the superhero that turned to the dark side. Remember when Superman turned bad and had to fight himself? With these guys, the world is their Kryptonite. These were maybe once happy, easy going people who at some point decided that it’s a dog-eat-dog world and now feel angry and like everything is out to get them. Maybe someone they trusted really hurt them. Maybe they felt they were too nice to the world and it still let them down. These people believe that you get no where by being nice but sadly, this ethos is seriously flawed when applied to dating.
#The ‘still bitter over an ex’ dater
Oh how we curse the one that broke their heart and let them back out into the dating world. Dating a bitter broken hearted person can go several ways. 1. They can have severe trust issues. 2. They still think and talk about their ex. 3. They hate anyone sharing the same gender as their ex and want to punish them for it. 4. They settle for ‘play dates’ and use dates just for sex because hey, there are no more singles to be trusted in the world, like ever again. Either way they are bad news and best left alone until any traces of bitterness have completely left their person.
# The ‘attention seeking’ dater
You know the ones. They talk about themselves constantly. They can create a drama out of a drinks coaster. They want to steal the limelight and they don’t want you to share it. You may also feel like they are competing with you, because they are, these people, though really annoying, have probably battled with insecurity their whole life. But when they are confident and standing taller and being louder or looking more attractive then their ego is fed and their insecurities go away.
So there you have it. Charles Darwin’s theory stated that the strong will survive while the nice/weak will eventually become a needless race. The bad-mannered dater believes this to be true.
Our theory is that strength comes in many forms and none of them involve being flippant with people’s hearts. No matter how many times you may get hurt, treat people as you wish to be treated and when it comes to love, the good guys always wins in the end…