The pros and cons of having friends with benefits

It’s the heart of what romantic comedies are made of but can a ‘friends with benefits’ situation ever work?friends with benefits

My friends have experienced both sides of the coin on this one. My mate Claire was really good friends with a guy called Jim and they had a great time until Jim met the girl of his dreams and Claire was far more into him than she had ever realised. Cue tears, more tears and well… you get the picture.

Meanwhile Kate was sleeping with one of her friends for two years and they both thought the situation was perfect. She eventually met someone else and they called it a day – and no one ended up hurt. In her case, it was an enjoyable situation all round.

So, I had a chat with them both and we’ve listed the pros and cons we came up with together, below:


It can get difficult: So you’re great friends, you think you might fancy each other; you agree to have sex and well, it was just really awkward and not that great. Now you’re not sure if you should text, if they fancy you, if they want to do it again. Our advice is to have an open and honest conversation about what you both want.

Someone gets attached: This is the most obvious problem. Having regular sex with the same partner makes you feel close to them because of the hormones whizzing around the place. If you start to feel like this, make sure you tell the other person, as it might be time to call it a day.

The friendship is compromised: Once you’ve had sex with a friend there is no going back, but if you’re that close and open with each other, hopefully you can overcome any issues and remain friends when you’ve decided to stop having sex.

One of you meets someone: This is bound to happen sooner or later, after all the whole point of this set-up is that you are free to see other people. If it’s the other person who meets someone, take a step back and deal with it how you would hope they would, if it was you who had found a potential long-term partner.


You gain confidence: You gain experience and along with that more confidence, which undoubtedly will make you more attractive in the process.

You have a laugh: You can hang out with a guy, go to the cinema, hop into bed with none of the aggravation a full-blown relationship can bring.

You may find love: You may find that actually you are better off as lovers than friends and find that you should be together officially. In which case, it’s a win-win situation all round.

Have you ever had a friends with benefits situation? Did it work? Tell us @lovestruck

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