OK, so finding the love of your life is a serious thing, we know, but sometimes, amongst the fretting over what to wear, where to go, do they like me, hate me, why haven’t they messaged me worries, we forget to have fun. And dating should be fun and kinda easy too, a little like Sunday morning.
Adopting a fun, lighthearted approach to dating makes you, your date and the whole date situation a far more pleasurable one. Good, yar? Being an ‘easy lover’ is the best way to be, right? So who was this ‘easy lover’ Phil Collins and Phil Bailey were singing about way back when and how do I become one?
Easy. Follow our top #5 easy rules:
# Don’t be negative: Dates should always have a positive vibe. Try not to moan about work, loud neighbours, politics, people you’d like to kill, the state the world is in and OMG, what does that girl over there think she looks like. Remember, we are attracted to people who we think and hope will make our lives happier, positive and better so if you’re sitting there beneath a grey cloud, you’re not looking so sunny. You want them to leave the date feeling lifted, smiling, wanting to see you again (not like they want to jump fully clothed from the nearest bridge)
# Don’t be needy: Would you say you are a needy person? You might not, but do you sleep with your phone beneath your pillow willing a date to text you back? Do you always need to know where they are and panic if they’ve replied in 4.2 seconds? Do you even cancel going out with your mates to be with them? Stop it right now! It’s suffocating. Needy people are hard work and we hate to say it but they are a bit of a turn-off too. It might be hard to stop being needy if for whatever reason you just are, but try and act like you’re cool, can ‘do’ life without them sometimes and lock all signs of neediness in a cupboard – at least until you are married. Then you probably won’t care that much anyway…
# Don’t make it all about them: When we’re dating someone new, the coolest, easiest of demeanour’s can get lost as you fret about what THEY think whilst worrying you’re doing everything wrong. We’re going to hit the caps button again here, just to reiterate this important point: REMEMBER, YOU ARE WORKING OUT IF THEY ARE RIGHT FOR YOU TOO! Do they tick all of YOUR partner criteria boxes? Taking the emphasis off yourself instantly makes you more relaxed. See? Your shoulders just dropped by 5 inches.
# Don’t forget guys like to chase: Ladeez, once you’ve made contact, don’t be afraid to let him do the work for a bit. Take it easy. Put your feet up a little. We often want to make sure guys are into us before showing how we really feel and most guys we talk to actually like to captain the control panel, initially.
# Don’t forget to be playful and fun: How do you friends view you? A joker? Are you witty? Young at heart? Do you laugh easily? Always apply your good humoured traits to a date. We are instantly attracted to fun-loving people as they make us feel good about ourselves and more relaxed. Not blessed with natural comedic talent? Talk about things that have made you laugh, or funny movies and romcoms, or, just laugh at their jokes, they love that.
Got any other tips for easy-dating? Tell us @LovestruckTweet