You met up for the first time, the date went really well, maybe you drank a little, flirted, kissed a bit and then you ended up having sex. On a first date? So? You’re single, right? You don’t do it all the time and ‘it’s my party and I’ll have sex if I want to.’ Plus darn you get lonely sometimes. So why are you sounding a little defensive? Feeling a little bit…guilty? Chances are it’s because you’re female…
Despite women pretty much matching men on most levels these days, falling into bed with someone so soon is still a grey area for both sexes. Why? Because from a young age, girls are told, ‘do not have sex on the first date’ or, ‘make him wait or he won’t respect you.’ Don’t forget, men hear the exact same warning, ‘Nice girls do not do it on a first date.’ But here’s the thing. Nice girls do have sex on a first date because…wait for it…they want to! No way?
So having sex with someone on a first date won’t boost your chances of finding a meaningful relationship because at this stage, it’s nothing more than a lustful, impulsive encounter (and he can’t believe his luck, frankly…but you knew that already). But then again you might go on to become long-term partners and then the fact you had sex on that first date really wouldn’t matter, would it.
Sometimes, despite getting as close as you can physically get to a date, they won’t want to hook up with you again and this can be harder to accept than if you’d just shared a cappuccino, chat and blueberry muffin. Although we think we’re equal to guys, we don’t think alike and we’re wired to feel differently and on a more emotional level. But sometimes you won’t want to hook up with someone you slept with either (and sometimes you’re not even sure what the hell you were thinking) but slowly, it seems times are changing. The guys aren’t judging us so much and girls aren’t feeling so wracked with guilt.
However you choose to date, it’s important to remember that doing what you feel is right for you is the key. Don’t beat yourself up too much but do keep your eye on the end goal. Love.
(We’re gonna sound like your parents now but it’s cos we care here at Lovestruck so – be safe folks! And ladies, make sure somebody always knows where you are and your place is often best for ‘coffee…’)
What are your thoughts on sex on a first date? Tell us @Lovestuck
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