When sassy London socialite Nixalina isn’t rubbing shoulders with fashionistas and celebrities and regularly offering her pearls of wisdom to renowned TV shows and influential glossies, she’s running award winning fashion beauty and dating blog Sex & London City which now enjoys a global following.
Between you and us, the ‘life insatiable’ Nixalina is really rather lovely too so we’re thrilled that London’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw has taken time out from her crammed social diary to share her thoughts on dating, what ‘grates her soul’ and what would get you a second date…
Who would your ideal date be and where would you go?
I’m not a materialistic girl and I don’t really get impressed with a large splash of cash, so none of the generic main stream dates would do it for me. Not to mention I am SO bored of cinema dates and ‘dinners then drinks’ combo. I’d like something a little more thoughtful and a little more unusual, like a coffee in the ‘cat café’ or a dog walk in the woods and then a picnic… with Bellini’s of course. Or, something radical like a helicopter ride or a bungee jump! I’d love that.
Do you think it’s actually harder to find love in London?
Oh absolutely. I’m originally a Kent girl and all my friends who have grown up with me have got engaged and settled already, yet all my London friends are happily single. London seems to offer too much choice for everyone that people are then afraid of missing out if they settle for one option. Dating 3 nights a week is the norm in the city, and commitment does not come hand in hand with variety unfortunately.
When it comes to relationship happiness, do you think we have it easier or harder than previous generations?
So so so much harder. I always look at my grandparents and lament at their apparent ease to find their soul mate. My grandparents have been with each other their whole life. Can you imagine, married to the same man for over 50 years? It seems like an impossible achievement of today’s modern society. I can’t pin point the alteration or shift in relationship behaviour but it seems now that cheating is rife and ‘until death do us part’ is now ‘until one of us gets bored and shags a work colleague’. I wish forever still held the connotations of forever but alas, even ‘ever after’ has a shelf life these days.
Your favourite and least favourite look on a man?
I am a sucker for a pretty face. I cannot help it, if he has a severe jawline and big bright eyes, probably blue, I’m already there. I do love the floppy ‘Zac Efron’ style hair do too, I’m definitely more of a clean shaven type girl than a ‘I love beard and tats’ craze that is going on right now. I can do dishevelled or rocker type as long as facially, he is pretty. I HATE that over-worked steroid gym physique on a man. Being fit and defined is amazing, but atm dudes are overdoing it way too much. It is too ‘try hard’.
Do you think we’re happier or unhappier generally as a result of technology and social media?
Unhappier without a shadow of a doubt. One of my very first ‘relationship’ pieces was written on the idea that social networking sites are killing dating. My engagement ended due to Facebook. Everything is so accessible these days and privacy is an outdated concept, anyone who cheats or lies etc can be caught out through social media. You can track anything from tagged and untagged photos, friends, recently added friends, tweets that have been ignored… if anyone tries to contact your other half, you can find out about it. Even if it is innocent, it just causes needless drama and rows that wouldn’t have occurred without social media showcasing everyone’s waking minute.
Profile literacy – do you forgive the odd spelling mistake?
Yes I try, but, it does annoy me. ‘wot u up 2’ will grate my soul. It isn’t that difficult to type out ‘what are you up to?’ is it!? SERIOUSLY! Or ‘Hai ladys Im funni and cool add me’ profiles. Erm, you might be funny and cool but it looks like you went to school in the Dark Ages. I try not to jump down guy’s throats with it or point it out but if he types like a douche chances are he’ll sound like one too. Being an English Lit graduate I know I get annoyed more than necessary though. But if you wish to date an Editor, if I were you, I’d edit your messages first!
Complete the following: ” A man would always get second dated by me if…. he seemed unconcerned with public affection and made me laugh so much I thought I might need to change my pants.”
Final word or favourite saying?
“What Goes Around Comes Around.” I live by it, hence why it is tattooed onto my back…